Musings about identity in RPGs

I, Jaen

This has nothing to do with feminism or equality or itisallaboutethicsinvideogamejournalsm-gate or whatever.

But it has both videogames and identity kind of. Well it’s mostly about me. Here goes.

All that follows is based on my experience with the Mass Effect and Dragon Age series from BioWare and the great Elder Scrolls games from Bethesda.

And of course Diablo, D&D, KOTOR, Shadowrun and a bunch of MMOs and other RPGs.

As you might have guessed I like RPGs both the digital and non-digital variety. The ones with action and high adventure. I like to kill orks, slay dragons. Blast aliens, stormtroopers, robots and faceless corporate goons.

I’m the one saving the world or maybe just my own ass.

But I have found something that might be a bit peculiar.

When I play any rpg from Bioware I play the same character, Jaen. It should be Jean but I spelled it wrong by mistake and stuck with it.

I’ve been Jaen Shepard through the Mass Effect trilogy. Jaen Hawke and simply Jaen in Dragon age 2 and origins respectively.

The character creation in Bioware rpgs is pretty much the same. It has of course been improved over the years but not much has changed. I always pick the same options.

Female. Red hair. Green eyes. In space some kind of scar. In fantasy settings some mystic tattoo. The hair is the shortest ponytail option you can choose. (That must be preferable when fighting darkspawn or Reapers, I guess)

This might seem weird, silly or unimportant to tell you.

So why am I writing this? Well, I don’t know. But I found two interesting things.

1: I don’t know why I always do this.

And 2: I don’t always do it.

So why and when. Well in all Bioware action RPGs. I create the same character.

Those games are 3^rd person and single player. So maybe that’s is part of the reason.

But a bit about my second point before I move forward. When do I play what character? Depends on gameplay and narrative.

Just Perspective

In pen & paper RPGs I always play different characters and classes. When I GM I steal from everywhere. Even myself. My regular RPG group will not get to read this but if they did they might start to recognize some NPC.

In all the MMOs I have tried I never once made that same character. I’ve never been really into MMOs but I’ve tried a lot them. Played WoW, DCU Online and SW: Old Republic. The last one is definitely the one I’ve played the most. I is even from Bioware and it is even fantasy in space.

But no I made a different character. Not Jaen.

There is no reason to play the same character in all RPGs of course. But it is kind of interesting to see when and why you play what character.

In an MMO there is a lot of other players playing. So the avatar is my representation in the game to the other players. It is more a game piece than a character in a story. The avatar is my body in the game, so I choose something closer to my real body. Can seem silly maybe, I am not a Jedi in real life either I know.

I think it is more about how I’m perceived than how I see myself. I don’t want scam anyone or whatever. I’m a guy in the analog world so I’m a guy in the matrix. That’s how it works, right?

In all the Elder Scrolls game I am men too. Not even snakemen or elves. No, plain old humans. Boring me.

Those games are 1^st person so it might just be that I play myself. I don’t know. I play a Norse in Skyrim because that is what makes most sense and is in a way expected. It’s on the cover of the disc.

Back to the first point, Why?.

Perspective. The above example mentions Skyrim being played in a first person perspective. So you don’t really see the character you’re playing. Not even in conversations. Only when you equip different armor and weapons.

In the 3^rd perspective on the other hand you see the character all the time. I play RPG to be something other than my ordinary self. I want to immerse myself in lore and of course kill monsters. If I’m going look at something for 40 hours it is definitely not going to be me and I’d rather have it be woman than a man.

I play a protagonist in a story in 3^rd person in 1^st I play “me”

Just narrative

The race you play give you some kind of bonus, usually. The class of course has a huge impact on the game you play.

But the option to play male or female doesn’t have any impact on game mechanics.

So Jaen, here is my justifications for why I choose the options I do.

In Skyrims narrative you are The hero. Everything revolves around you. Your choices. And you can do anything in the giant sandboxes of Skyrim and Oblivion.

It is a gamespace, game and narrative centered around one word/person: YOU.

In Mass Effect and Dragon Age the narrative is centers on Shepard, The Warden or Hawke. It is a different way focusing the narrative and playing the game.

You control someone else. The protagonist in Biowares epic.

So I create the character that fits and creates the most compelling story for me.

Here we talk about stereotypes. Might be more suited to say archetypes. Stereotypes have a bad rep. The Hero, The One, The Savior  is stereotypes as well. That’s the ones you play in these games.

The Hero is defined by opposition. By whatever (s)he has to overcome. Destroy the Ring. Don’t give in to temptation and overcome your physicality. If we look at Frodo in LOtR.

In Dragon Age Origins I was a female city elves warrior. I’m The Underdog. The Unlikely Hero. The lowest of the lowest.

Of all the peoples in Feralden the city elves are the most oppressed. The women are servants or whores. And a warrior seemed as the most unlikely class for such a person to be. (but honestly I just prefer playing a warrior).

In stories like this the Hero is the unlikely one, weak or whatever. Frodo, Luke and so on.

I pick the Archetype that fits the story for me. (In Shadowrun Returns I’m a human female street samurai called Molly because I love the book Neuromancer¹)

And I think there is a difference in how Skyrim and Dragon Age frames gameplay and story.

Just Me

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I think too much. Put too much into the choices. I can spend a long time in character creation just pondering a name. Maybe it is just personal preference. I prefer the FemShep actor to the male counterpart. I prefer the story where a female city elf saves all of Feralden by sacrificing herself to kill a Demon. I do it’s true.

But it is more than that. I chose in stereo types but not in any bad way. My Barbarian and Monk in Diablo are big muscled men while my Mage and Demon Hunter are women. That makes most sense to my brain. When I play pen&paper RPGs I wanna see a cool story unfold. The character I play reflect that. I identify with stereotypes or archetypes from movies and books. I try to re-create those stories, I think.

When I chose it has little to with identity or gender. It is more to do with narrative and gameplay.

In Biowares RPGs or others framed in a similar way, I control, to an extent, a protagonist in a story unfolding before me. In Skyrim I want to explore and kill dragons or maybe just run around eating things. But maybe that’s just me.

Notes:

1: The book that started the genre we know call cyberpunk. And greatly inspired the original Shadowrun pen and paper RPG. One of the protagonist is called Molly Millions.

Also the book where the words cyberspace and the matrix first appeared.

Bibliography:

Ace, Gibson, William, Neuromancer. 1984.

Ludography:

BioWare. Mass Effect. 2007

BioWare. Mass Effect 2. 2010

BioWare. Mass Effect 3. 2012

BioWare. Dragon Age: Origins. 2009

BioWare. Dragon Age II. 2011

Blizzard North. Diablo II. 2000

Blizzard Entertainment. Diablo III. 2012.

BioWare. Star Wars: Knights of the Old republic. 2003

Blizzard Entertainment. World of Warcraft. 2004.

Harebrained Schemes. Shadowrun Returns. 2013.

Bethesda Game Studios. Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. 2006

Bethesda Game Studios. Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. 2011

Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson. Dungeons & Dragons. 1974